What is Your Story?

Post image for What is Your Story?

by Kelly

in Attraction Series, Clear the Way For Love

The last 4 months have been pretty rough on me. The business that my husband and I started on our wedding day and sacrificed lots of sleep and much of our personal lives for gasped its last breath. We had to claim bankruptcy. We had owned our business for 13 years, so it was pretty tough for me to let it go. Although my honey has pretty much taken all of this in his stride, it really knocked me off my emotional center.

A couple of weeks ago I was reading Money Love: A Guide to Changing the Way That You Think About Moneyby Meadow DeVor. In her book she introduced me to the Abundance Scale.  If any of you know about Abraham Hicks, this is similar to their Emotional Guidance Scale. The Abundance Scale is a tool Miss DeVor uses to measure how you are feeling about your current experience and rating that on a scale from -10, meaning the worst you can feel about your current experience, to +10, meaning the absolute best you can feel about your current experience. It helps make you aware of how what you are feeling moment to moment is attracting the experiences you draw to you.

I have to admit, when I read that and took a look at the Scale – it was as if someone hit me over the head! I realized I had lost my focus. I had allowed myself to wallow on the lower end of the scale for quite some time – not just the last 4 months, but the last 3 years. No wonder we attracted all of the financial mess we did.

abundance scaleRegardless of the recession I think it was time for us to let that business go. Our hearts weren’t into it like when we first started and both of us were craving a different lifestyle. But my stories of “Because the economy collapsed, all of our clients aren’t willing to invest in big, high-paying projects anymore” and “Working with the Government sucks” was keeping me in a very stuck place and not allowing me to see new opportunities.

So what does my very personal story have to do with you? Well, what stories are you telling yourself and other people? Are you still complaining to your girlfriend – or even worse – your date about what a Jackhole your ex is? Do you like to compare stories about how horrible your last date was? Or maybe you are not even allowing yourself to go out and date because you figure, “What’s the point?”

Finish this sentence: “I would really like to get married again, but ____________ .”

Or, “I would really like to be in a love relationship, but ______________ .”

However you finished that sentence – that is your story. And guess what? It’s a lie! I know – it feels very real. You have all kinds of ‘evidence’ to back your story up – but it is still a lie. And the trouble with telling yourself lies is that they keep you very stuck. They keep you on the low end of the Abundance Scale, and that is not a fun place to be. When you are hanging out on the low end of the Abundance Scale you can’t even see all of the opportunities and abundance that exist literally all around you.

So how are we going to change that?

Just becoming aware of how you are feeling throughout your day will go a long way towards helping you to feel better. Several times a day, check in with yourself. Where are you at on the Abundance Scale?

How you feel really is a choice, and you can make a conscious choice to look at your experience from a different perspective and choose a thought that makes you feel better.

It’s time for you to finally get love RIGHT!

Kelly Ellzey

If you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy, Ask a Better Question.

I would love to hear from you! I value your and appreciate your input, please post your comment below.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Karen McMahon February 19, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Kelly,

I like your article. That old saying, perception is reality. Change your perspective and your will change your perception of what your reality is. It is amazing how powerful our minds are, not just to limit us but to help us achieve amazing goals. Especially when we are in angst, it is so much easier to think about all we cannot have, cannot due, do not deserve…but that is all part of the lie!
Thanks for sharing this.

Karen McMahon
Divorce Coach

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kelly February 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Thank you, Karen, I really appreciate your taking the time to comment.What’s great is – once you realize that your “story” is a lie, you can then retake your power back and make new choices!

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Angie February 10, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Kelly this is an awesome post! I’m going to have to use this abundance scale.

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Liz February 9, 2012 at 9:44 pm

really good my darling one!!! I would love to point and say it’s ya’ll fault my life is not where I want it to be but in the end..the mirror says.. guess again..;)
Liz recently posted..Love Stinks – Single On Valentines DayMy Profile

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kelly February 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Ha! Are you reading my mind? I was just writing an article today about our relationships are our mirrors!
Thank you for commenting Liz (Lynette)!

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Sloan February 8, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Hey Kelly!

This was great advice and I’m sorry about your business closing down. I’m glad you’re able to be positive with your future though and it will work out for you in the long run.

A.K.A “glass is always half full gal”

Sloan

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kelly February 8, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Thank you Sloan. The business going down will probably turn out to be the best thing to happen to our business/work lives – it was just really hard to let go of something you have been fighting for for so long.

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Sassy Divorcee February 8, 2012 at 11:54 am

I love this post. It’s so true that we get bogged down in the negative, we notice what’s missing and not what’s present, and we forget to be grateful and to capitalize on the good.

When going through a divorce, it’s easy to see what’s missing from life and to get caught on the bottom of the scale. I always find it helps when I take stock of the things I’m aware of now in a whole new way, like how I have the most amazing friends in the whole world who really value my friendship in return.
I really love the scale and

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kelly February 8, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I remember when I went through a divorce – it took quite a while for me to start living in the upper half of the abundance scale.I think it’s easy to let yourself get “sucked in” to whatever stories you are telling yourself. I think it takes a lot of courage, determination and a strong spirit to stay in the upper half of the scale.

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