Do’s and Don’ts for the First Date

Okay, you are ready to get back into the dating scene and you are a little nervous…it’s been awhile since you’ve done this – what do you do? What do you say? Here are a few tips to get you back on your game:

Do:

1. Be honest about who you are and what you are looking for. Dating – especially the first date – is all about deciding whether the two of you are compatible or not. It’s far better to be honest about who you are and what you are looking for right up front. First off, they are going to find out eventually and second of all, being honest will save you a lot of time. It’s far better to have a string of first dates than to waste 3 months with someone who is looking for someone with different values than you. If someone doesn’t appreciate who you are, why would you want to be with them anyway? Next!
2. Meet in a public place. If you don’t know the person, common sense dictates you agree to meet in a public place – better to be a little cautious than sorry.
3. Make the first date short. If the two of you are really getting along well you can always extend the date or agree to go on a second date. But why commit to an entire day if you don’t even know if you can stand this person for an hour? I recommend meeting for coffee – this is just a “sniffing of the butts”, to see if you like each other or not.
4. Do have fun! Smile. Talk to your date. Laugh easily – if you don’t feel like laughing or smiling, you should be working on your exit strategy!
5. Ask your date questions about themselves. People love the opportunity to talk about themselves – especially when they feel the other person is genuinely interested.  The greatest gift you can give anyone is your attention.
6. Compliment your date. Notice what they are wearing or compliment them on one of their accomplishments. People might not remember what you said, they might not remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.  Make your date feel special.
7. Be sexy. Not over-the-top-sexy, but give the other person a little hint that you like sex. After all – isn’t that one of the main reasons relationships get formed in the first place? This can be through a special look, a casual innuendo, or a sly smile. Be inviting and flirtatious, but be careful not to come off as slutty or desperate.

Don’t:

1. Don’t take the first date too seriously – it’s just a date! You are not agreeing to get married, have his baby or even have sex. All you are doing is spending a little bit of time getting to know someone to see if they are worth the second date. If the date doesn’t go well, at least you had the opportunity to sharpen your relationship skills – maybe you even learned a little bit more about yourself and what you do and do not want in a relationship.
2. Don’t talk too much – especially don’t talk too much about yourself. No one likes a braggart. You actually leave yourself at a disadvantage if you are the one doing all the talking – that means you know very little about the other person and they know a lot about you. The purpose of dating is to find out if you are compatible or not. You can’t know if you are compatible with someone if you don’t know very much about them.
3. Unless you are 100% positive the other person shares the same beliefs as you, don’t talk about religion or politics. People tend to get very heated and emotional if they feel their beliefs or values are being challenged.
4. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Show you respect your date by not answering your phone or Tweeting while on your date. Have all of your attention focused on your date.
5. Leave your baggage checked. Dumping all of your past garbage onto someone’s lap who doesn’t even know you makes you appear desperate and needy – or at the very least, crazy. Save your ‘Sob Story’ for your therapist.
6. Don’t get drunk or otherwise intoxicated. Not only is this a major turn-off, but it’s also a personal safety thing. Don’t put yourself in a position where you can be taken advantage of.
7. Leave a little mystery! Do not tell each other’s life stories on the first date! “Always leave them wanting more” as Walt Disney has said. You don’t want to reveal too much too soon and destroy any hint of mystery.

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   It’s time for you to finally get love RIGHT! 

   Kelly Ellzey

   I would love to hear from you! I value your and appreciate your input, please post your comment below.

Tagged as: dating again, Dating tips, first date tips